Boy was interrupted!

Poor Boy was fighting off this tummy bug pretty well...or so we thought. He started having some trouble last Wednesday when he woke up and threw up. He perked up and seemed fine the next day. A day or so later, he threw up again. Next day seemed fine...went to school...all was ok. Then he started having mild diarrhea over the weekend. Monday he woke up early and threw up AND had diarrhea...only this time...it didn't stop. By late afternoon he was seeing double and had to be carried to the bathroom. I took him to the doctor at 4:30 and by 5:30 we were already checked in to a room in the hospital. He had to stay there for two nights. He was dehydrated and would NOT eat. He was a sick sick little guy. He didn't much care for the iv they stuck in his little hand. HATED it in fact. But he hung in there and took his meds without complaining too much. The doctors there were awesome. There was a whole Grey's Anatomy looking swat team looking after him and they were all gorgeous...just like on tv!! He was very well taken care of. When we got home today, he received an envelope from his class. Each child made a card for him. He was really happy about that.

As for me...I am just glad it's over and I am glad we are all home.

Oriental Lilies

Here is one of my Valentine's Day presents. Nicholas is a very thoughtful gift giver. He LOVES giving gifts. I tried to tell him many, many times not to get me anything big for VD so I was excited when the flowers arrived at work on Wednesday. I thought the flowers meant he wouldn't be going overboard with a Tiffany gift this year. Now I absolutely LOVE Tiffany's jewels. I realize it is completely ridiculous and totally over priced...but I LOVE the crap outta those little blue boxes. I was totally fine to just get the flowers. In the end, however, he gave me two Twilight books (3 and 4), a tiny box of chocolate...and a little blue box. SHEEESH. Flowers, candy, books and jewelry. It kinda overwhelms me. It's not that I don't appreciate it but sometimes too many gifts, or a big expensive gift, can make me feel a little uncomfortable. And knowing he spent too much makes me feel guilty and gluttonous....like I just ate a whole cake by myself or something. Then there is the fact that I didn't spend nearly as much on him. Cause I CAN'T afford it that's why!! AND NEITHER CAN HE. Oh well. I do love my bracelet. Now let's just hope we can afford groceries all month!!!!

Which tarot card are you???

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Nesting

I am not exactly sure what is going on in my head these days. I am acutely aware of the fact that whatever this is...will evolve into something...just not sure what. My intuition is acting a bit like a tracking device gone bonkers. I keep getting these weird feelings about "things" and then I will obsess about potential outcomes. I need to use that inner tracking device to find some inner peace because right now all I seem to feel is STRESS.

I sort of got lost in a store the other day. I went in for some "shop therapy". I didn't really want to buy anything I just wanted to clear my head and have time to NOT think. I wanted to browse and search through stuff to see if I could find anything that I desperately wanted or HAD to have. All the while telling myself not to think too much...just be impulsive. (I used to have to stay OUT of stores for this very reason.) It worked out well! After wandering around aimlessly for a very long time, I found some china that I LOVE! I have loved this china for a while so I was able to ease the old woman in me by telling her that it wasn't really ALL that impulsive. Anyway, they had a whole pile of them so I bought 8 dinner plates and 8 salad plates.

As soon as I left the store my buyers/spenders remorse kicked in and I stressed the whole way home. I let it go shortly after I got them on the table though.

Soon after my little spending spree I started to try to put all of my recent feelings/dilemmas/ intuitive responses together to try and figure out the common denominator. The only thing I came up with is my strong urge to "nest" right now.

I want everyone at home...all together safe and happy. I keep envisioning all of us at home, eating together, talking and laughing. I keep having thoughts of another baby...lord knows I don't need one of those. My kids are growing up too fast and I want to spend more time with them. I am turning 40 this year and I swear I feel like the Grimm Reaper is starting to call for me. I feel sort of midlife cisisish. I don't want to work full time because I really have no choice and you KNOW how green and lush the grass is over there!!! AND these beautiful days have given me an awful case of Spring Fever. All of that translates into a pile of panic. And the need to be with close friends and family.

To get through all of this stress, I am going to indulge my need to nest. I am going to try to cook...yes after work...and keep the house clean...in spite of work...and take care of my babes whether they are all home or not. I am going to use my new dishes and light candles and wash them without complaining. I am going to wash 9000 loads of clothes each night and fold them after the kids are asleep...without a single grimace. And I am seriously going to try and enjoy every "free" moment I stumble across.

Coach Tom

My kids play sports for the Y. At least while they are the learning their sport of choice anyway. In our experiences, we have had some GREAT coaches, some OK coaches and a coach or two that was barely adequate.
Finn has had the BEST coaches so far. He just finished his second season of basketball...ever....and we thought his coach was great. I had just told my Mom that I thought he was really good, really understood the kids, and seemed to really care about TEACHING the kids how to play. Then we got an email from him. And I knew I was right. SOO sweet. Here is what he had to say about the team...and of course...my boy.


Max-Always competitive, quiet and confident. He always did exactly what I
asked. He will be a great player.

Grant-Thanked me after every practice and every game. He came so far Julie,
you should really be proud of him.

John Thomas-Made me laugh with his questions. Half way through the season
when I said "Are there any questions?" he asked "How many more games are
there." By the end of the year he was shooting, dribbling more and really
got into the game. He is a great kid.

Finn-- Small in stature but a huge heart. He played great defense, cheered
on all of his teammates and ALWAYS had a smile on his face. He was a
pleasure to have every week.

Charlie-Made me laugh. ENERGY! He was why we started the practices getting
"our wiggles out" by running. He really played well. I hope he sticks with
it. I think he has great potential. Thank you to both of his parents for
the kind words and support.

Luke-Timid at first but wasn't afraid to shoot at the end of the season. He
played great defense and always smiling.

Bryan-My boy! I love you buddy. I know it isn't always easy being the
coaches son but you were great, played great, and I was very proud of you.

Will-I have never seen a child so anxious to play. Always ready to bring
the ball down the floor. And for all of his hard work-SCORED IN OUR LAST
GAME. I am proud of you for working so hard and improving.

Spencer-Great kid! He really improved and I could always count on him to be
listening when nobody else was. He was so close to scoring in the last
game. I know, if he comes back, he will score next season. Thank you to
his father for his continued support and for working so hard with him. You
were great.

Baylor-Man what an improvement! He was so good the last couple of games. I
struggled to know if he was having fun during the games but he always seemed
happy after. He is a great kid.

Thank you all again for sharing your kids and your time.

I hope to see you all around the other fields and back on the courts.

Coach Tom

I could get really emotional about this if I let myself. I really appreciate anyone taking the time to get to know my kids. It's especially nice when they focus on the positives! Made me remember just how important it is to TEACH. Because i believe that a really good teacher acts a lot like a really good coach.

As youth departs...

As I think I have said before, I am having a hard time with Hailey growing up. I do not really understand why it's hitting me NOW but it surely is. I guess because she is entering an age and stage that throws me deep in the middle of uncharted territory. I am used to being around children all the time. I know all about ages and stages to age 12. Now that she has moved well past 12, I feel a little lost in the labyrinth that is my daughter.

She had to go out of town this weekend. I had been avoiding the trip until Friday morning when I had to get her up and ready to go meet the bus. I was running around frantically trying to make my lists and check them twice. I started spouting out suggestions...things she might need. She was nice and polite and told me a couple of times, "Yeah Mom. I got it." I finally ran down to her room to grab something and what I saw there almost brought me to tears. I had to fight the urge to sit on her bed and sob uncontrollably!

She had her bags packed in a way that would make a neat freak proud. She had beautiful little piles of all the things she needed. As I glanced around, I noticed that she too had made a list and she too had started checking things off. Only she had made her list WAY before I made mine. She, unlike me, was so excited for the trip that she couldn't wait to pack. I am sure she had been packing in her mind for DAYS before she actually started her list.

Why didn't I know that she would be so well organized? Why did it surprise me so?? I'll tell ya. Because I just don't think I want my little girl to grow up. I want her to need me. I want her to ask me how to do things. I want her to ask for my opinion.
But I also want her to be independent. And strong. And organized. And happy about trips that do not include her Mom. I don't want her to grow up... snif... But she is doing it anyway, without my permission, and she is doing it beautifully.

25 Things. Damn FB.

I thought and thought about what to include in this stupid "25 Things" on the Crack Book. I would write something, delete it, write something else...think about it... I finally decided to just write whatever popped into my head. Don't you know I have been stressing out about it since I posted it?? I mean, who really cares. These are just people that I haven't seen in 20 years that I totally want to impress by letting them know how great I've turned out. HAAA. Anyway, here is what I came up with. I would really like to have a "do over" so I may write a new one for my blog. Until then, here is the CB one.

1. When I was in 4th grade I knew that I wanted to be a teacher.
2. When I was in college I had to write out my "life plan" and choose a "commitment" to write down and share. I wrote that I would dedicate my life to the education of young children. I also shared that I really wanted to have at least 4 kids.
3. I have 4 kids and I am still teaching young children.
4. I took a break from teaching and was a stay at home mom for 6 years.
5. Even though I am almost 40 years old, I still feel like a child around my Daddy.
6. I don't really believe in divorce, and I'm divorced.
7. I am convinced that I have been on this earth before and that I was an African American woman...possibly a slave... who was subject to much racism. Not kidding.
8. Teaching wears me out.
9. I keep going back to teaching not because I feel I have soo much to teach, but because I have so much to learn from these little angels that grace me with their presence every day.
10. I love photography. Love love love it.
11. I hope to be a full time photographer one of these days.
12. I worry a lot about what being a full time photographer will do to my commitment...you know... about teaching young children.
13. My Honey is 13 years younger than I am and I am still trying to be okay with that.
14. Often I think that young Honey of mine is a better parent that I am...okay maybe not OFTEN but sometimes.
15. I get along really well with my ex husband. He hangs out with us a lot and I am convinced that is really good for our kids.
16. I still worry all the time about how divorce will affect my kids when they are in relationships of their own. Mostly because I am a child of divorce and I'm divorced.
17. I don't like cold weather at all. I try to enjoy the brisk, clean, air...but If I appear to be enjoying it, I am probably faking it.
18. My Dad worked for Eastern Airlines for many years and I got to travel a lot when I was little.
19. I can't stand not being able to travel much anymore...I desperately want my kids to be able to see the world.
20. I wonder all the time What Jesus Would Actually Do and I really don't believe he would be NEARLY as judgmental as most of us here on earth tend to be.
21. I have been a vegetarian for about 9 months now and I don't think I will ever eat meat again. I am hoping to go vegan one day.
22. I love to eat out. LOVE IT.
23. I still feel really sad when my kids leave to go to their Dad's house and I still get really happy when they come home.(I may be ready to ship them off again after a few hours...but I love it when they come home.
24. When I argue with my kids, it upsets me WAY worse than it does them even though I don't show it.
25. I really dread turning 40 this year but If I had the choice to go back to age 20....I wouldn't do it. I am sooo much happier now.

Happy Birthday Hailey!

Birthday Madness

I am really shocked that it's been so many days since I've written. We are, however, in the middle of birthday madness around here. Maddy turned 11 on Thursday and Hailey turns 14 tomorrow. Dear Lord...I have a 14 year old. Kills me.

Unfortunately we sort of set ourselves up for a week of total chaos. This craziness all started when Hailey was about 5 ...I think. Each girl gets a party and a birthday dinner at the restaurant of her choice. It's really my stepdad's fault for starting this tradition when they were so young. Anyway, usually it's one whole week of bday hell. Sometimes it spills over in to the next week as well since you can't always do two parties in the same weekend.

This year, those sweet little girls decided that they didn't really want parties (OMG they are growing up too fast) and they decided that they would both like to go to the same place for dinner!! They actually agreed to have one big joint bday dinner. THANK GOD!!

And the best part...they decided to go to my all time favorite restaurant in the whole wide world. Sweet little girls. The birthday madness is basically over and it was quite painless.

Gardening at Night

I know very little about gardening. It's one of those things that I hope to learn more about in the near future. I developed an interest in gardening when I actually owned my first house. Working full time and mothering children sort of squashed what little time and energy I had though. When I became a stay-at-homer and moved into a new house, I thought about it a lot again. We had a small front yard with no established landscape so I thought it would be the perfect time. I did manage to do a little with the front yard but by then my marriage was starting to fall apart and I just didn't care about the house or the yard much at all. I was struggling to stay afloat those days.

After the divorce, I went back to work and I no longer own much of anything! My dad actually owns my car and we rent our house. The actual owner of the house does NO yard work so even though this is a very nice neighborhood and the houses around here cost a lot...our yard looks like crap. We soooo look like the renters on the block...the little rough section of the hood. It really bothers me sometimes. I have often thought I would like to spruce things up in our front yard (we have been here 2.5 years) but I just can't seem to let myself spend the money or the time on someone else's yard. And it would take a serious amount of money to make the whole yard look any better. I look at the yard almost every day and think, "Man our yard looks like crap."

Tonight, as we were returning from the day's adventures, I discovered one little daffodil!! Beautiful little flower, shining in the night, right there beside the stairs. For some reason it made me feel really happy. Partly because I love any sign of spring in the middle of winter and partly because there is now something beautiful in our yard. One little flower. After I looked at the flower for a while, I took a good look at the dark yard and suddenly the trees started to look beautiful too! The air smelled really good and clean, the trees looked confident and wise, and I felt really calm on the inside.
Maybe I should learn how to garden at night! In any case, our yard may not look so good in the morning but tonight...our yard looks beautiful.

Baths with Bubbles

Stella loves her bubble baths. I am thankful for this for several reasons but the most important reason is that the poor babe gets very constipated and taking a bath, when she needs to go, seems to help tremendously. At first she won't sit down because she is trying desperately to NOT go because it hurts. (And as we all know, the sitting position makes us have to GO!) But eventually the bubbles will win her over and she will start to play and forget about her little (maybe I should say BIG) problem.

Today I put her in the bath because I knew she needed to go. I left the room for 2 seconds, I swear, and when I returned she said, "Mommy! Mommy!!" I looked down to see what she was soo excited about and there she was...with a big pile of poop...in her hand.
Gross. Wasn't exactly what I was hoping for, but hey, the bath sure did work!
That kid was soo happy and proud of herself I just had to take her picture.

Grips

Every gymnast has to have her grips. Worn in and chalked up. Hailey has had the same grips for years now! I keep thinking she will need new ones but, for now, she loves these old, dirty, smelly ones.

She is going to her 2nd meet of the season this weekend and I can't go. I am sick. Makes me ill to think about it. Seriously. She laughs at me because she knows that she will be perfectly okay without me. I am now the owner of the separation anxiety...not her. I really wish I could be there. I love to watch her. I love to watch all of those little girls who have grown up in that gym together. I get excited for all of them. They really are an extended family at this point. Hailey spends 20 hours a week with these level 7 girls and she has been with most of them for 6 years. That is a long time when you're 13!! And A LOT of time!!

At the last meet, Hailey had to scratch beam. In the gym world that means she didn't get to compete on the beam and she had to get a 0.00. She had to stand there and salute the judges, touch the beam, and then salute the judges again. She didn't quite have her back handspring without a spotter yet (a required beam skill for level 7) so her coach just wanted her to scratch and hopefully be prepped for the next meet. Hailey was okay with scratching. Not happy but ok. I was happy that her coach stood beside the beam with her and gave her a high 5 after she gave her final salute. That showed that her coach supported her...and had trust that she would get her skill in time.

Well we are pretty sure she IS competing on beam this time. AND I WONT BE THERE!!!! Oh well. I will be there in spirit for sure. Prayers her way! Grounding time...for both of us.

SNOW!!!!

Will it snow????

The weather forecast says snow....but this is Charlotte, NC so I'm not counting on it!!
The sky definitely looks like snow. Here is the view outside my bedroom window.

I must really be getting old. I have never really liked cold weather but I am starting to really dislike the cold. And as for snow...I could totally live without it. A school day off would be great...until we had to make up that snow day...on one of my teacher workdays. Yep, I can totally live without it.

My poor kids don't even have appropriate clothing for snow. We just don't really plan for it around here.

I did LOVE snow when I was little though. I remember a few really good snow days. I remember how silent it could be when there was snow on the ground. No noise. No one outside, no cars on the streets. And because we rarely get snow, we used to do really goofy things like putting plastic bread bags over our shoes so we could keep our feet dry!!! How hilarious is that? My kids would rather die than put plastic bags on their feet. And we used to sled down hills on metal trash can lids! HA. Now I sound REALLY old. We didn't care how goofy we looked in the snow though. Then we would come in and strip down in front of the fire. If we were really lucky, we could have hot chocolate. Good times.

I guess a good snow day would be okay. As long as it doesn't stay too long! :)