Wedding photo 5

Wedding photography.....way harder than I thought. It was okay...but man it was challenging.
This is how I feel after taking photos for 5 hours....

Photo Shoot

I am shooting my first wedding tonight and I am terrified. I am so nervous it's ridiculous. I am doing it for a friend. This friend has NO money so I am doing it for free. She is very gracious and I think she will be happy but I really want to do a good job. Fingers crossed. Will post images later.

OH...and it's all indoors. AT night. Great.

the soul's windows

Today was an interesting day. I had to return to work after a wonderful winter break and I was certainly dragging my feet. We had a staff meeting just before lunch and our friend, also a board member, came to guide us through some meditation techniques. My first reaction was one of resistance. None of the teachers knew that she was coming...a well devised plan by our administrator because she has the ability to see the future and knew that there would be resistance! Anyway, she took us through a visualization technique with a rope of light as a "grounding cord". We have done it before and I really enjoyed it. It took a while for me to relax and REALLY visualize. Of course I also had to bring myself back after a few minor distractions...but here comes the interesting part.
She usually stays away from any type of religious words. But today she actually mentioned God and I think even the word Christ! I fell out of my meditation momentarily to ask myself..."Did she just mention Christ? Is she assuming, here in our urban, public school that we are all Christian?" I then thought about the fact that I was focusing on whether or not she had said "Christ". I then turned in a different direction and thought..Did she say Christ, or is that just what I was feeling? So I immediately went back into the visualization. And every time she said, "Feel as though you are letting the light fill up your head...Feel as though the light is traveling through the rest of your body..." I kept picturing "THE LIGHT". I was feeling/visualizing Christ all through my body. I had been freezing cold earlier and I was suddenly very comfortable. When it was over and she told us to open our eyes, I discovered that I had tears streaming down my face.
My first thought...I look like a fool. I realized very quickly however, that everyone else was still stretching and coming out of it. I don't think anyone else even noticed it. Once I let that ego thing go...I felt extremely peaceful. I then managed to feel that way for the rest of the day.
I am telling you, meditation is a powerful thing. And so is resistance. I don't know why I feel the need to resist Christ sometimes. I love the life and teachings of Jesus. I love everything he represents. I guess I just don't always agree with other's interpretations and when you feel shut out or judged by people who claim Christ as THEIRS...you get a little turned off. I just know that Jesus and I had time together today and I am going to invite him back.

photo #3

Maddy in the middle. My only middle child for 8 years. (She now shares that spot with her little brother.) She tries desperately to make everyone happy. She has even started to model for me every now and then. She hates candid pictures of herself. She only likes to see herself with her well prepared grin. SO, I have been teaching her how to model and pose. She still doesn't like the same images I like, but she does it because she wants to please me and I take full advantage of that. Sweet girl. I think she is beautiful and I find that I get much more of her true personality when I ask her to model something for me. Today, it was a magician's hat.

I don't like the harsh light from my camera's built-in flash and I was too lazy to put on my big ole bounce flash, so I played around with the built-in by diffusing it in various ways. I liked the look on her face in this one. She looks like she might be up to something....and she often IS up to something. :)

photo a day photo #2

I took my tripod to First Night last night! I set it up, right there in the middle of all of the commotion, and played with the shutter speed. My kids didn't even complain too much...well not about THAT anyway!

New Year's Eve

We actually left the house on New Year's Eve this year! We went to First Night uptown. We rode part way in to town and then rode the light rail the rest of the way.
The kids had a blast on the train. In fact, the train ride was probably the best part because Stella was in a terrible mood. It was cold and she really wasn't warm enough so we didn't stay too long.
I was so excited when I planned this little adventure but MAN the kids were quite challenging. I now remember why we don't usually do anything on NYE! I did have fun taking photos though! I didn't manage to get a photo of Finn...but believe me....he was there too!!

A Photo A Day

I stole the idea from someone else's blog but like I tell my kids and other teachers...no idea is completely original. And any great idea is an idea worth stealing. This doesn't mean that I ignore copyright rules or anything. It just means that I truly believe that great ideas are for sharing. As long as you do the work for the great idea...it's okay, right? Right.

So my stolen idea is to take a photo a day. I am an amateur photographer who refuses to get better for some reason. I think this will force me to "see the light" a little differently each day. My hope is that my images will get better and better. Some days I will have writing to go along with my images and other days I won't. I do teach full time after all. And have 4 kids.

Here is my first "Photoaday" photo. Maybe I should have started on Jan. 1st! Sweet! Now I can tell people this is my NewYear's resolution. (Hate those things...none of those ideas are worth stealing!!) Okay so here is my first. My sleeping babe. Her eyes were fluttering while she lay dreaming and it was sort of eerie sort of angelic all at the same time. Little love bug.

Enjoying time off...

I absolutely cannot believe it but I actually painted a picture today. I am not saying it's GOOD...I am just saying that I painted a picture today. I would love to consider myself an artist. I would love to be a photographer, painter, excellent seamstress. There are many different things I would like to do one day. Until then, I will just play around and pretend to be all of those things. I figure if I pretend long enough then one day I will believe it.

My Sister's Family

This was the first year that I can remember that I didn't get to see my sister and her family before Christmas. She usually comes a couple of days before Christmas (Christmas Eve Eve) and we celebrate at Dad's house. Well this year she was unable to come until a couple of days after Christmas. And we went to see her at Mom's instead. Sadly, it just wasn't the same. We usually have all of that preChristmas excitement when she arrives. We get to eat yummy food (well some yummy stuff...sorry Daddy) and open presents. Dad has always
LOVED Christmas so
he has that "Christmas in the air" attitude. We still went to Dad's but it was different without Jill's family. I realized this year just how excited SHE gets about the holidays... and her excitement has always been contagious. I missed catching her excitement bug.

Anyway, long story short, I missed seeing her before Christmas but it WAS great to finally see her after. Here is her lovely fam. (side note: if you have seen the movie Step Brothers....they are totally the family singing in the car...only nicer.)

Looking to be Inspired

I am so happy to have found all of these bloggers recently. I have been trying to find the motivation/inspiration to get creative again. I really want to continue the photography classes and eventually become a full-time photographer.
In the meantime, however, I have been searching through books, magazines, and blogs trying to get myself motivated to do something!!

Last night, Nick and I went to the ex husband's house to play Wii with the kids and to have dinner. While we were there, Ex gave me a box he had found in the garage. I was so excited! In the box were several pieces of jewelry that I made a few years ago. There were some beads, findings, pendants too.

After Ex and I got divorced, I no longer had the time or the capital to buy beads and materials so I let it go. Lately, I have had the itch to get started again. Thanks all you bloggers out there for helping me find the inspiration to get started again.

Final Christmas Notes...

Estella Grace

I really think that all of the kids had a great Christmas this year. The Wii, new phones, too many toys to count, and LOTS of good food.

Stella learned about Santa this year...and responds with an appropriate "Ho! Ho! Ho!" every time his name is mentioned. We discovered that Finn still believes in Santa...can you believe that?? He is 7! The girls were way too nosy to fall for that past about age 5!! What's even more unbelievable is that Maddy didn't ruin it for him. She is growing up too fast. Sweet girl. And Hailey...Hailey seemed to really enjoy the family this year. She seemed like the mini adult she is becoming...by not really worrying about what gifts she was getting. She was way more concerned with the gifts she could GIVE. It almost makes me cry she is so grown up these days. She was also really into the traditions of Christmas. She loved decorating cookies and making the gingerbread house. She enjoyed all of the family get-togethers and if you know anything about Hailey...you know that stuff used to really stress her out.

Overall, I have to say this was one of the best Christmases ever. Thank goodness.

Stella and her Daddy

I know that all dads love their little girls. And I am quite sure that most little girls LOVE their daddy...but these two are unbelievable. Now remember, I had my older three children with my ex husband.
And of course the children love him. 2 and 3 are actually very close to their dad. But all of my other children have been attached to ME until they were 3 or so. All of the first 3 wanted me when they were tired, hungry, hurt, sad, etc.
NOT Stella.
From the time she was born she has been quite diplomatic. She never screamed and cried for her mommy. She never fussed when her dad put her to sleep. She has never, ever even pretended to like me best! I am the Mom for heaven's sake. She is supposed to like me BEST. But no. She seems to like her Dad just as much. I can't quite figure it out. Except for the fact that he absolutely adores her. Cannot get enough of her...ever. They truly seem to enjoy each other's company. He seems to totally understand her and respect her at all times. It is the coolest, sweetest thing I have ever seen.

ESTELLA'S PERSPECTIVE

I have often said that with each child, I have lost a little bit of my mind. By the third child, my mind was pretty much gone...lost...forgotten. Then when the fourth came along, I thought there was no hope. I thought I would very likely go insane. However, this little child seems to have brought with her some clarity. I actually see the world a little differently these days. Somehow, I seem to appreciate the little things a little more. And I am hoping, that even though I am old, I will find a way to remember the little things.

Stella has reminded me about little toddlers and Christmas trees. They love to help decorate. Stell loves to put all of her favorite ornaments on the same two or three branches. I think it's just beautiful. Absolutely, preciously beautiful. So I decided to take a picture of it.

Sick Day

Hailey and I are taking a "sick" day today. Mental health counts. Last week was awful. We are tired. I never get to see her. So there. We are officially mentally ill today and we are staying in bed. I don't even feel bad about it.