I started a new job this year. It has been unbelievably life changing for me. I am working one-on-one with a boy and his service dog. I never in a million years thought I would be an EC "shadow"/ assistant. I didn't think I had the patience, or the stamina, or even the desire. I was wrong! I know what I'm doing and I'm really good at it. (That realization alone has changed my whole attitude about life.)
I am working in a classroom with two other certified teachers. The lead teacher was pregnant early in the year and took her 6 week maternity leave. During that time, the assistant (also certified) took over as lead and we had a substitute who filled in as assistant. Both lead teachers have had struggles in the lead position. Somehow, all of my experience and intuition started to kick in. A burning desire to take over has almost killed me a couple of times. BUT that is a really good thing. Because after years of praying and meditating on what it is that I'm actually supposed to do in this world, I am finally figuring it out. I am supposed to teach. I am supposed to lead. I know what I'm doing and I am good at it.
WTF???
I still can't believe I feel comfortable saying that. But after what seems like a million years of self-doubt, I finally know what I'm doing. All of these little parts of knowledge, spirituality, experience, desire, growth, love, passion and confidence are all falling into place.
After a few conversations with the Director, I find myself teaching and planning more workshops, landing on the strategic planning committee, going to board meetings and planning like crazy to teach 4th grade next year. (I have also been asked to be on an Academic Excellence Committee with just the Director and a Founder. So honored.)
I have worked harder than I have ever worked in my life. I am making less money that I have ever made (working full time) in my life. And even though some days are FILLED with stressful situations I can not control, I love where I am right now. LOVE IT.
Oddly enough, while work has decreased my hours of availability to my kids, home life has never been better either. Weird. Just weird. Kids are all doing very well right now. All seem happy and relaxed most of the time. Things aren't perfect but the good and happy outweigh the yuck. I was able to do a mini photoshoot yesterday!!!!
