Acceptance

I chose the word ACCEPTANCE this year for one main reason.  Yoga.  I started doing yoga a few months ago and after I started to get into the swing of things (ie learning terms, positions, breathing)  I decided to set an intention before each practice.  Each day before I began the sweating, straining and suffering, I picked a one-word mantra to ease me through the process.  I tired many different words:  peace, love, happiness and any other hippy word I could think of.  Then one day, I tried a new video on Yogaglo.com.  In this video, the instructer said she often began her practice with the word acceptance.  So I tried it. 

This word had so many facets for me.  On one side, I felt the need to accept where I am in my practice.  I'm old and out of shape.  I'm not as flexible as I used to be, etc.  But as I tried out the word more and more, many other sides started to show up.  I started thinking about accepting myself in many other ways as well.  My life.  My choices.  And where I have landed.

Accepting  what is  is not always easy but I have learned that resisting what is causes way more trouble for me.

When I really started looking back at my life, and the times acceptance played a key role, I thought of Hailey.  When Hailey was tiny, I used to pray daily that she would sleep, or that she wouldn't want to nurse every 45 min all day long, and...later... that she wouldn't be so afraid to talk to people.  Somewhere around the time that sweet perfect babe turned 3, I changed the way I prayed.  I prayed to accept her just the way she is.  Imagine that?!  I prayed to accept her awesomeness so that I might be able to fully understand what she needed from me.  Shortly after that, things got sooo much better for both of us.  Finallly, I began to really see her, and what she needed, so I quit my job to be a stay at home mom.  I still think that was one of the best things I have ever done for her.  (and her sister. and her brother. and for me.)

After Maddy was born, I made it my goal to enjoy every minute of her newness.  Enjoy all of the baby stages that I wished away when Hailey was a babe and I was drag-ass tired all the time.  I decided to accept the tired, accept the sore breasts from nuring for hours, accept all of the baby stages.  I accepted how different she is from Hailey.  I have even learned to accept how LIKE me she is.  Bless her heart. I get that kid.  I really do.  And I love her just the way she is.

A few months ago, I was struggling  to understand what Finn needed from me.  He was clingy and acting all kinds of crazy.  He was kinda driving me batty.  He was having issues with finding his "thing".  He admired Hailey's gymnastics abilities and her academic success, he admired Maddy's awesome soccer/bball/lacrosse skills and the fact that school is easy for her as well.  He admired Stella's cuteness and the attention she recieves from it.  He was feeling very isloated and out of sorts, I guess.  Once again, I focused on acceptance.  Who he is and what he needs to grow into the person he needs to be.  All kinds of good things happened after that...from TKD to art supplies and sketch books.  It all hit me like a ton of bricks in an art store one day.  The kid was named after an artist (a movie character, and an artist) He's an artist, actor, inventer, builder, conversationalist.   The kid is amazing and he deserves to feel that way every day.

Acceptance, at the right time,  has done wonders for me in the past.

So now, when I manage to work yoga into my schedule, I usually choose acceptance as I set my intention.  I hope to extend that to my everyday life on a more regular basis.  Not just yoga time but most of the time. 
While comtemplating my chosen word for the 2012 year, that was the only word that made sense to me.

Here are some of the things I hope to accept this year:

the ages, stages and inidividual needs of my wide-spread crew (ages 5-almost 17)

the things I have learned about vegetarian and vegan diets.  (as Maya Angelou says, "when you know better, you do better)

that other's opinions don't define who I am. 

that it's not only my right/choice as a human to be happy and healthy but it's also my obligation to my family.

that life is actually really, really good.