Friday, March 1, 2013

Here We Are...

So here we are.  Exactly one month past Hailey's 18th birthday. I feel both sad and ashamed that I didn't do an appropriate birthday post for her.  I can only hope to make up for it in the Spring when I do a dedication post in  honor of her upcoming graduation.  I've already started working on that HOPEFULLY it will be ready in plenty of time.

In the meantime, I have to say that this has been the most difficult birthday for me yet!  I am really an emotional wreck about it. It's both so exciting and so upsetting all at the same time!!  It's not upsetting because I'm old enough to have an 18 year old.  I'm actually kinda proud of that...wrinkles and all. And I'm so proud of the fact that I raised one up to reach 18 without going completely crazy or shipping her off to boarding school! 
It's the fact that she's driving everywhere and independent and LEAVING HOME SOON. 
It's the fact that she doesn't reallllly need me anymore.

I really hope I can yoga my way through this one because as of right now, I can't think about it without crying. Seriously.  I'm fine when she's around.  Fine to talk about it with other people. But if I'm alone and happen to think about it...I lose it. 

And I just can't help but think...This is the one kid that has ALWAYS liked me!!!  (ok there's still hope for Stell)   Always wanted to be around me.  Always trusted what I have to say.  (That's not all totally true..haha...she had her tween moments like most kids do.)
She has grown into my little piece of calm in our ocean of stress.  She's a rock.  She's an achor.

 She's my big ole first born baby.

I honest to God don't know what I'm gonna do without having her around everyday. 

On the flip side....She's ready.  She's smart, beautiful, independent, confident and READY to fly. 
Pretty soon that little bird will flap on out of here.  In the meantime, I'm going to pray, meditate, do yoga, cry in the shower...whatever I have to do to help her take off successfully!!  OMmmmm


amylou said...

very sweet. I got a little teary eyed too. she was "our first baby" ya know....the first of the friends to have a babe and we all are so blessed and honored to watch her grow into a an awesome young lady! cannot wait to see what path she takes in the next couple of years...i know it will be fabulous...

suzycm said...

Aww. Thanks AmyLou!!