Sunday, February 20, 2011

Best Friends

(Ava, Stella, and Finn)

Finn and I have had many conversations about friends.  (Above is a picture of his best friend, Ava. )
Friends are soo extremely important  to children.  As Finn explains, school is really only bearable because you get to see your friends everyday.  And recess of course.  Recess and friends make school tolerable for my little guy.

Twice last week, Finn got off the bus with a cloud of fury and frustration over his head.  When I asked about his day, he proceded to tell me why he was so uptight and out of sorts.  The first cloudy day, he explaied that his good friend Will was being mean to him because he wants to play with Ava all the time.  They went back and forth a while and Finn seemed tormented because Will wouldn't play with him while he was playing with Ava.  Will gave him an ultimatum of sorts and said, "Either you play with her or with me."  So in his diplomatic way, he devised a plan of action.  He made a schedule.  M-W he would play with Ava.   T-Th he would play with Will.  Fridays would be up for grabs.  He would flip a coin or something.  While he wasn't totally thrilled with this idea, he presented it to his friends and all agreed to a trial period. 

Enter 2nd day of frustration....
As luck would have it, Will only lasted a  couple of days before he started picking on Finn and Ava on "Ava's day".  According to Finn, Will and another little boy were calling Ava names and "treating her like a dog."  Finn and I discussed the situation and after listening to Finn's frustration I asked him what he would like to do.  He said, "I'd like to punch him in his face."  And I said, "Not an option.  What else you got?"  He thought about it and decided that he would try to talk to Will again.


On Friday, Finn got off the bus with a spring in his step and a smile on his face.  When I asked how his day went, he let loose the deluge.  He shot a barrel full of words in my direction.  (the boy talks so fast sometimes it makes my brain bleed)   Even though I was having trouble keeping up, I was able to make out 3 major things:

1.  He told Will that he would no longer stand for his mistreatment  of Ava.  He would have to be kind to her or lose Finn's friendship.  Period.
2.  Will agreed to be nice to Ava and to try to play with her sometimes too.
3.  Ava told Finn he was a very good friend, and thanked him.


 Finn seemed to gush with an overwhelming sense of pride and satisfaction.  And I was sort of shocked and amazed by the fact that my small (in size not in spirit) child was able to stand up for himself and his friend in such an passionate yet peaceful way.

Kids amaze me.  I have heard that our children are way more "evolved" that we are.  And that their children will be even more so.  I believe it.  While I'd like to think I taught him those things, I'm afraid I can't take any credit.  At all.  The boy was flying on instinct and intuition.  And those are two things he's had to develop on his own....on the playground jungle.  While I'm sure there will be days when he doesn't win the battle, I feel so good about the fact that he can handle the war. 

ROCK ON FINN!!  I love you my little justice warrior!

1 comment:

Barefoot from Heaven said...

Hi there you. Gosh what a story. And how I would love to meet Finn. I'll promise you he'll be big in his actions later on in his life. And no maybe this wasn't for you to take credit but hey, it's you who's being the mom and talking and teaching him ever since he was born what values means....you both rock!!!!
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm thinking about sharing some of my kids more on blog because of you. Each time I do read about the wonderful (and less wonderful) times you have with your kids and share that with us makes me smile inside...so do keep them comming my friend.
Happy day to you. Hugs Dagmar