Friday, September 3, 2010
Lonely at the Top...
Have you ever noticed that right when you feel like you are high on life, queen of the mountain, top o the world ma, people start to act a little strange? Like all of the sudden, they realize how happy you are, and don't really trust it. Or maybe it's that they just aren't buying it. After all, I have been a pretty stressed out mess for the last year so maybe extending my summer bliss into the new school year is alarming in some way. I do usually reach PEAK stress when school resumes. However, I am no longer full time. I am not feeling the same beginning of the school year stress this year. MUCH calmer being outside of the classroom scene.
I don't want to go back to being stressed and sad. I don't want to start worrying about money, and work, and trivial stuff. I don't want to be unhappy.
I read something recently that stated the idea that most people don't think happiness is a way of life. It's perceived as a temporary state that only comes around on special occasions. Most people don't really know how to hold onto it for long. It has been pretty cyclical in my life that's for sure. But I have always sort of felt an underlying happy somewhere. Just gets lost a lot.
And again, I feel myself starting to struggle and lose a little footing. That voice in my head is starting to be negative again. I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend telling that voice to quiet back down.