Friday, January 7, 2011

Reflection


This photo says many things about my relationship with this sweet little girl.  I have many photos of her deep in thought, or dreaming, or concentrating.  I loved watching her gaze out the window and I imagined that she was wishing on stars that New Year's Eve night. 
As I started to take her photo, I noticed my reflection in the window and decided to change the frame a bit.  I liked being in there with her.  Sometimes I really think I can read her mind.

We've been fighting a bit...she and I.

The biggest problem is mine not hers. 

I see a whole lot of myself in that little girl.  A whole lot.  The dreams and the fears.  I push her to be her best at the things she loves to do because I know that the choices she makes while she's young can follow her for the rest of her life. 
 I don't want her to give up because I always just gave up. 
 I don't want her to quit because I quit a lot of things.  (mostly because i didn't feel good enough.) 
 I have given her a hard time lately about not being focused on her sports. 

But she's almost 13, she's worried about boys and friends, and the fact they are all watching her play basketball for her school. 
(can't you remember worrying about everything at that age??) 
She's got a whole lot going on. 

So I tried to get back in touch with the 13 year old child that used to live in my body oh so many years ago and I asked her what she would want me to do. 
And that little girl said,

"Just accept her. 
And love her. 
And support her decisions. 
Only give sports advice if she asks for it. 
Always, always be compassionate. 
And if she is arguing with her friends,
ask how she feels about it
and not what she did.
 Don't make assumptions and don't judge. 
She's still a child and she needs your support above all."

(and that little girl inside my head didn't want to shut up...)

Finally, she added
 "AND the bottom line is...she's not you!" 

She's her own wonderful person with her own life and her own decisions.  I'm here to facilitate the growth and teach what I can.  I get to watch her do all kinds of things I never did! 
And the success is in her happiness NOT her performance.
*****

So grow on!..... you little wild flower you! 
You be you! 
I love you just the way you are kiddo.

4 comments:

Pat said...

Beautifully written.

daricia said...

i have often suspected anna would rather be one of your kids....this is why! youre my mothering hero.

LifeIsArt said...

thank you mama.

and rish...your comment made me cry. so sweet.

(and she would not want me as her mama. her mama is perfect for her and she knows it!!)

Jennifer said...

Suzy, in just a few short years will you tell me this when I come to you in tears about one of my babes...

<3